From ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ to Political Revenge — We Can Do Better
A Thoughtful Perspective
By R.L. Crossan
We hear it early. On the playground. In classrooms. Around the dinner table. “Boys will be boys.”
It’s usually said after a shove, a cruel joke, or some display of dominance brushed off as harmless. It’s not meant to justify deep harm — just to move past it without too much fuss. But over time, it teaches something dangerous: that bad behavior is part of the natural order. That pushing back or lashing out is just what boys — and later, men — do.
And what we normalize in childhood often echoes through adulthood.
We see it now on a much larger stage: in Congress, in presidential transitions, in press conferences and cable news spin rooms. The tit-for-tat, red vs. blue revenge cycle isn’t just political strategy anymore — it’s personal. It’s emotional. It’s vendetta disguised as governance.
You impeached our guy, now we’ll impeach yours.
You passed that law, we’re going to repeal it — not because it’s bad policy, but because it came from the other side.
You disrespected us, now it’s our turn to take the wheel and swing it hard in the other direction.
It’s not just dysfunction — it’s regression.
🪞Where It Starts
If we raise children — especially boys — to believe that asserting power, dominating others, or retaliating is natural and expected, we shouldn’t be surprised when those kids grow up and do the same in positions of influence.
What if, instead of brushing off bad behavior with a smirk and a shrug, we treated moments of conflict as chances to practice something better?
What if we taught boys (and girls) that true strength isn’t payback — it’s restraint? That leadership isn’t control — it’s service? That disagreeing doesn’t mean destroying what someone else built?
We often treat politics like a contact sport. But democracy is more like a shared house. You can rearrange the furniture, maybe even knock down a wall — but burn it down every four years and we’re all left standing in the ashes.
🔁 Break the Cycle
This isn’t a call for weakness. It’s a call for maturity.
Yes, elections have consequences. Yes, bad policies should be challenged. But reflexively undoing everything your predecessor did — just because you can — doesn’t make you principled. It makes you petty.
The best leaders don't spend their energy undoing the past. They spend it building a future — even if it means building on someone else’s foundation.
🧠 Raise Better, Lead Better
If we want better politics, we need to raise better citizens. That starts at home, in schools, in small moments where we model patience, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
Because the kid who learns to reflect instead of retaliate?
They’re the adult who governs with purpose instead of spite.
And that’s the kind of leadership our country could use a lot more of.